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Not Only in the White House

Jun 8th, 2017 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article, Uncategorized

The editor of the EJ was interviewing a candidate to join his crack staff of reporters. The grueling interview was almost over when he asked the most important question of all: “Can I count on your loyalty?”

‘How about honesty?” countered the candidate.

“Can you give me obedience?”

“I can promise you integrity.”

“Hmm, that’s not enough. Can you give me faithfulness?”

“No, but I can give you trustworthiness.”

“No, no. How about undying love?”

“I can offer untrammeled admiration for your business acumen.”

“Very close. How about everlasting devotion?”

“Will you settle for regular praise for the editor-in-chief?”

“I will need more. Can you bow your head in my presence?”

“Can I offer you a firm handshake every now and then?”

“That’s good, but still not enough. How about showering me with rose petals every day?”

“I can spray air fresheners in the office.”

“How about bringing me muffins? Can you at least do that?”

“I can offer an occasional cup of coffee.”

“Done! You are hired.”

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  1. A note from the Editor:

    Employees are a real challenge. Recently I requested a meeting in my office with a very comely staffer. I simply said, “You look very nice in heels and a short skirt and I HOPE that I will soon get to see what that skirt is covering up.” She made herself scarce following that meeting and I had to fire her. Unexpectedly she filed a sexual discrimination suit against me. Totally frivolous. I responded to the suit by saying that I am a good guy and that all I said is that I HOPE. We all hope. It is not illegal to hope. I did not command her to do anything. That response was good enough to dismiss the suit. Thank you Senator Risch.

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