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Municipal Services and Finance Proposal Makes Rounds around Pennsylvania and the Nation (redux)

Jun 24th, 2018 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

It’ summer.  It’s VBS time.  For the unwashed VBS is short for vacation bible school.  Is there any better way to spend summer vacation than basking in the word of our lord? This has motivated the editors of EJ to resurrect a previously published article (Oct. 2011) that tells a tale of how church advocates may stealthfully garner government support for church agendas and evangelism.  This comes on the heels of a program in Pennsylvania (and some other states) that allows corporations and non-profits to receive a 90 percent tax credit on scholarships for students to attend private schools.  Most[Read more...]


May 4th, 2018 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

This is an article that was posted last year.  I recently read it and thought it needed to see daylight again. (ed.) Click on the link below to read a short essay on morality in our ever-changing world, a world of increasing individualism.  It is a story about philosophy.  It is a story about sociology.  It is a story about morality.  And it is a story about how to look at the world. Find Essay Here


Apr 29th, 2018 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

“The fifth best meal I have ever sat down to was at a sort of farmhouse-inn that is neither farm nor inn, in the region of New York City. The fourth best was at the same place–on a winter evening when the Eiswein afterward was good by the fire and the snow had not stopped falling for the day. The third best meal I’ve ever had was centered upon some smoked whiting and pale mustard sauce followed by a saltimbocca, at the same place, on a night when the air of summer was oppressive with humidity but the building was[Read more...]

Trump Seeks Asylum in Moscow (Redux)

Apr 10th, 2018 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

  This article was originally published in January. We now know that it was a false alarm–fake news. Of course, EJ admits no responsibility in that deception. We picked the story up from a wire service with which we had a contract, Ersatz News.  We also now know that it is poor judgement to enter into a contract based on a solicitation appearing on the inside cover of a matchbook. Even though it was false news then,  it may yet prove to be prophetic and evolve as true in the near future. The plane was fully fueled in a hanger[Read more...]

Teaching Evolution

Mar 24th, 2018 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

Recent remarks by a member of the Elizabethtown school board have led to some agitation among the crack staff of EJ. Keen observers of the local education scene will recall that Mr. Menno Riggleman, in an interview with the school newspaper, observed that the curriculum on evolution was outdated. He also went on to argue that homosexuality is a sin, not unlike unmarried people living together. (1) The crack staff of EJ does not shy away from covering controversial cases. Rumor has it that its reporters were sent to Tennessee in 1925 to cover the celebrated Scopes Monkey trial. However,[Read more...]

Top Ten Elizabethtown Journal Headlines of 2017

Dec 29th, 2017 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

                10.          President Uses Proper Punctuation in a Tweet 9.            President Didn’t Play Golf Last Week 8.            President Read a Document 7.            Houston Astros Win Their First Ever World Series 6.            President Proclaims “I am the best ever President in the history of the world. Everyone agrees.” 5.            President Used Proper Syntax in a Tweet 4.            President Nominates Cabinet Secretary Who Answered Senate Question Correctly 3.            President Upset with God, Claims Insufficient Loyalty 2.            Elizabethtown Journal Nominated for Seven Pulitzers 1.            U.S. Fails to Act on the Surreality of Their November Decision

Call yourself a liberal?

Dec 27th, 2017 | By | Category: Features, Front Page

Check out Terrell’s latest at Clyde Fitch:

The Myth of Human Capital

Nov 11th, 2017 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

We offer a bit of poetry to illustrate a point.  American public policy assumes that a person’s lot in life is based on merit and human capital.  That perspective must also assume near perfect freedom of movement throughout the class and opportunity structure.  This is the American promise that merit will offer its deserved rewards. This American ideology has taken its place in both domestic policy and foreign policy. In the former, we have sought solutions to poverty and inequality through offering (at least promising) capital, human capital, to the downtrodden.  Human capital in this scenario is synonymous with education. [Read more...]

The Return of the Return of the Unidentified Man: UM 3.0

Aug 1st, 2017 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

The saga continues. Two of our venerable reporters have once again picked up the scent of the most curious character that our reporting staff has ever encountered.  I speak of the Unidentified Man, of course. The saga began six years ago when the two reporters were foraging for food near the Conewago Trail. That activity was not uncommon due to their meager salaries.  While Stalking the Wild Asparagus they  had their first encounter with the Unidentified Man.  That encounter was documented in EJ in 2011.  What they found was an aging Gump-like character who watched Fox News exclusively, used an[Read more...]

From the Debunking Corner: An Ingenious Way to Answer the Great Questions of Science

Jul 27th, 2017 | By | Category: Features, Lead Article

A recent Gizmodo article takes the EPA chief Scott Pruitt to task for his “idea for a ‘red team-blue team debate’ on climate science.” The article goes on to add that Pruitt, “who all but admitted recently that his entire goal is to dismantle the EPA, has suggested collecting a group of scientists and having them debate objective reality, perhaps on television.” (1) What a great idea! But instead of praising Pruitt for his revolutionary thinking on the scientific method, Fake News Gizmodo seeks to vilify him. But ask yourself: How else can one get at scientific verities, if not[Read more...]